For some years I have been experiencing depression. The pain and feeling of detachment can make it hard to get things done. I have been getting much better since some changes in March, even the migraines I had regularly for years have melted away.
However, last week I felt I was slipping backwards a bit, like my brain was retreating and leaving my body behind. Luckily this time I had a strategy to battle back, and it includes taking the boys out for a walk every day, rain or shine. Unfortunately along with depression, sometimes comes the weird combination of lethargy and anxiety, so it was hard to even get them harnessed up and out the door, and then I was super-stressed they might wander off too much.
Amazingly the boys seem to get it, and have stayed with me every day out as I regain my bearings...
Tanji is ready to go, but I'm still sitting down.
The little speed demon would like to be racing up and down the trails,
but instead he flops on the ground...
...and waits while I write a few things in my journal
(that's recovery step #2 :).
I make it out to the chairs, and Uschi sits next to me (rare)
and is rolling around like he's happy I'm there (even rarer).
Vladi is keeping an eye on me too, from the comfort
of his dirt-rolling spot. Everyone really wants to GO,
so that gets me up and moving to the west pond.
Tanji runs ahead of us, and Vladi is close behind.
I can't resist petting his dusty little body, and it feels wonderful.
Even Uschi shows up and rubs against my legs (who IS this cat?).
I know all of this good kitten behavior won't last,
but its already seen me though to sunnier days.
Tomorrow: Recovery Step 2
7 comments:
so glad you found one of the best therapies available: the unconditional and ever present love of your three cat-boyz! :)
I'm so glad you have your boyz to help you with your journey. It brings tears to my eyes knowing you are in pain. You mean so much to me, daily I look forward to seeing what your adventures will be. PPP
I'm so glad you are mostly getting a handle on this awful condition. Having soft, warm, furry babies to snuggle with and hug you when you need a hug is pretty good medicine along with the other things you're doing.
Add me to the long list of folks who are wishing you well. Your babies are great therapists!
Thanks for your willingness to share such a personal struggle with us, Lesley. Clinical depression runs rampant in my family and I've had a difficult 2-3 years. Sometimes it helps just to know that others are finding a way out of the darkness.
-Karen
>^..^<
Thanks for your willingness to share such a personal struggle with us, Lesley. Clinical depression runs rampant in my family and I've had a difficult 2-3 years. And sometimes it helps just to know that others are finding success.
-Karen
>^..^<
Karen, big hugs to you, there are a lot of us out here!
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